Chris Woolston
CONSUMER HEALTH INTERACTIVE

Note: This article has been localised for an Irish audience.

As a carer, you know Alzheimer's disease never affects just one person in a family. Your life has changed, too, from your social life and relationships to your goals and priorities. "Changed" isn't the word -- you've gone through a total upheaval, the kind that splits a life in two. In the years before Alzheimer's, you may have worried about the garden or politics or money. In this new era, you worry about getting through the day.

As isolated as you may feel, you are far from alone. Thousands of other carers are going through the same struggles. Like you, they are providing near-constant care and supervision to someone who doesn't always recognise them. Like you, they feel embarrassed if their partner yells obscenities or disrobes in public, and they feel a deep sadness that they have to show their parent, grandparent, or spouse how to use the toilet.

All of that hard work and frustration takes a toll. Many carers say they live with high levels of stress, and may suffer from depression. Such turmoil saps a person's strength, patience, and energy, making it even harder to give loved ones the care they need. Depression and stress also threaten a carer's health by weakening the immune system and raising the risk of heart disease, substance abuse, and many other disorders.

You've spent so much of your life caring for others. Now it's time to care for yourself. By taking steps to reduce your stress and preserve your health, you'll be helping everyone in your household.

Staying informed is an excellent way to reduce the stress of caring. Books such as "Living with Alzheimer's Disease" and "Caring Without Limits" provide invaluable practical advice. Knowing how to bathe, feed, and dress an Alzheimer's patient with a minimum of fuss and frustration will greatly ease your burden. Just as important, you'll learn to set realistic goals -- getting clothes on his body vs. getting him perfectly dressed -- and to take things one day at a time.

These books also drive home the cardinal rule of caring: you can't do everything yourself. Even if you're physically capable of performing every task your loved one needs, your mind can't take the endless strain. There's no shame in asking a relative, friend, professional aide, or adult daycare service to give you some time off. If you don't know anyone who can help, call your local branch of the Alzheimer Society for advice.

Make sure to invest at least some of that free time in your health and peace of mind. Regular exercise will help revitalise your mood as well as your body. You should also get plenty of rest and make regular visits to your GP. And take the time to join a support group, there are 90 around the country, and many on the Internet. Hearing about other carers' experiences and sharing your own will give you new knowledge and strength to cope with the illness.

If you find yourself losing your temper regularly and yelling at your loved one, or doing other things that you regret, you have to get some help. It's not fair to the person with Alzheimer's or to yourself to go on like that. Finally, you should always be on the lookout for signs of depression and stress. If you regularly experience any of these symptoms, see a doctor, therapist, or other expert for help.

•Irritable mood.

•Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt.

•Suicidal thoughts.

•Sleep problems.

•Fatigue.

•Loss of interest or pleasure in usual activities,

•Difficulty concentrating.

•Unexplained changes in appetite and weight.

Finally, save a corner of your emotional life for yourself. Try to make sure your emotional life doesn't revolve entirely around your confused loved one.

To date the Alzheimer Society of Ireland has developed the following community services.

•21 Day Care Centres nationwide

•11 Home Support Services providing support for families in the home

•Support Counselling Skills training for selected volunteers and nominated personnel from Health Boards

•Information Services through our National Office, Alzheimer National Helpline (1800 341 341), Regional Offices and Branch network.

-- Chris Woolston is a contributing editor at Consumer Health Interactive. He has also written for WebMD, Hippocrates, and Time Inc. Health.

This article has been revised by Vhihealthe for its audience and may contain, among other things, information or medical practices that are unique to Ireland. Neither Consumer Health Interactive nor the original author make any warranty as to the accuracy of the article as revised, and assume no responsibility for modified content.

First published February 26, 2002
Copyright © 2002 Consumer Health Interactive

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